COLLECTION: Bargain-hunting in Sin City
The thing about Las Vegas is, once you’ve lost all your money at the tables—and believe me I did—the next move is searching for the best bang for your entertainment buck. Luckily the city has some of the most affordable fun on earth.
A mere $10.95 buys your way into the buffet at The Hotel California. Mystery Meat, pickles, shumai, shrimp, humus and pita, home fries and cornbread all on one plate. Jokes about "being able to check in but not out" included.
Of course laying by the pool doesn’t cost anything…
I highly recommend the rides at the Stratosphere built by my former pen-pal and one of my favorite people on earth, Bob Stupak. If you’re reading this, I love you Bob. I also love this picture. We’ve hardly gotten off the ground but Erin is scrunched into a little ball while I’m screaming expletives uncontrollably... but look at the other two guys—calm as cucumbers.
Enjoy the world’s largest TV, “The Viva Vision”, on Fremont Street.
And nothing makes a man feel better than a really big drink. Do yourself a favor and go to a place called the Peppermill. You can’t buy a smile like that.
But perhaps the best deal in the town is the ¾ lb Mega-Dog, conveniently located at the snack-bar next to the Slots-a-Fun. Just what is a Mega-Dog you ask?
Glad you asked… as far as I can tell, a Mega-Dog is 15 spicy-inches of fun. Just how long is that exactly? Lets just say, “double-ended lesbian-long” and leave it at that.
I got two.
Polishing off the first…
…left me with one lonely Mega-Dog and little to no room in my tum. Not wanting to waste food…
I decided to slap it against my face. Rarely can you buy this kind of highbrow comedy for just a $1.49.
Fuck, it broke.
But as I picked the pieces off the floor, I had an epiphany.
Yes, picking hot-dog bits off a nasty floor is nearly vomit inducing, but more importantly…
…starting with 15-inches means you can eat an inch-or-two. Lose a few inches to floor.
Shove a couple inches in your pants.
And still have enough let over to fill your pockets for later. Awesome.
A mere $10.95 buys your way into the buffet at The Hotel California. Mystery Meat, pickles, shumai, shrimp, humus and pita, home fries and cornbread all on one plate. Jokes about "being able to check in but not out" included.
Of course laying by the pool doesn’t cost anything…
I highly recommend the rides at the Stratosphere built by my former pen-pal and one of my favorite people on earth, Bob Stupak. If you’re reading this, I love you Bob. I also love this picture. We’ve hardly gotten off the ground but Erin is scrunched into a little ball while I’m screaming expletives uncontrollably... but look at the other two guys—calm as cucumbers.
Enjoy the world’s largest TV, “The Viva Vision”, on Fremont Street.
And nothing makes a man feel better than a really big drink. Do yourself a favor and go to a place called the Peppermill. You can’t buy a smile like that.
But perhaps the best deal in the town is the ¾ lb Mega-Dog, conveniently located at the snack-bar next to the Slots-a-Fun. Just what is a Mega-Dog you ask?
Glad you asked… as far as I can tell, a Mega-Dog is 15 spicy-inches of fun. Just how long is that exactly? Lets just say, “double-ended lesbian-long” and leave it at that.
I got two.
Polishing off the first…
…left me with one lonely Mega-Dog and little to no room in my tum. Not wanting to waste food…
I decided to slap it against my face. Rarely can you buy this kind of highbrow comedy for just a $1.49.
Fuck, it broke.
But as I picked the pieces off the floor, I had an epiphany.
Yes, picking hot-dog bits off a nasty floor is nearly vomit inducing, but more importantly…
…starting with 15-inches means you can eat an inch-or-two. Lose a few inches to floor.
Shove a couple inches in your pants.
And still have enough let over to fill your pockets for later. Awesome.
56 Comments:
um okay... not sure I get this one.
yeah, im the second one. :D
dont you just hate it when you eat something and theres nothing left to play with?
I wish you had pics of you walking around with the weiner sticking out of your pants!!
BTW, did you say the dog was spicy? Ummm, that's kinda gross.
I think I get it. There's nothing to get. It's just funny. What more could you ask for? Oh, and the book your reading is Superstud? In a thong? Nice.
You bring so much joy to my world, it's hard to quantify it.
Oh god, I read this over breakfast. I nearly peed myself on the stratosphere picture, but just looking at that hotdog and the filth it left in your mouth turned my stomache.
vomit inducing, inducing...educing?
very much as I imagined. but better.
LOL... that is funny. Howz the reaction of people around you then?
You become more of a cartoon character every day. Lets make babies.
This post was WEAK. Try harder, biatch.
Only pussies post comments anonymously. Dude above should go fuck himself. What'd you do today? That's what I thought biatch.
Jake, I think you just branched out to a new fetish community, you cock tease! HAHA Just think of what the highest ebay bidder is planning for the "Jake Bronstein Originals" ;)
HEY, aren't those the same pants that you pissed yourself in when you were with Christina?
omega.
Hahaha... I love this post. Las Vegas is a great place to produce blog stories. Everything is so over the top there that its entertaining.
All I've got to say: Jake makes over-processed meat product look sexy!
That dog almost made me loose my lunch. ugh...
~Carla
great start but there was no ending...still love to read the blog though
Jake, are you a homo? You have an unreal obsession with phallic objects and items. Its kind of like you have an Oedipal complex.
I've been to the Peppermill and it's one of the best places in Vegas....walk in and it looks like a cheap stripper dive...got there at 8 p.m. didn't leave til' 6 in the morn.
Only one Mega Dog - You ate your weight in NYC dogs
You give really good blog.
You got a new fan.
lol. GREAT. made me smile.
sooo funny!!
Does the guy who asked if Jake had an Oedipal complex even know what that is? It would mean he wants to sleep with his mom. How does shoving a hot-dog in his pants make him want to sleep with his mom? And again, how would it make him gay? Really, I just don't get it.
-Stacy
OMG my stomach hurts from laughing.
not the hottest post....you can do better. more skin
The guy slapped a footlong against his face whilst suffering "mustard-tongue" before slipping it into his pants.
What more do you want?
Regardless of what happened next - thats funny enough. If you want more comedy - use your imagination. Imagine Jake waltzing about las vegas with a sausage out his pants. Its made my day, thats fer sure!!
Oedipal dude , i bet you feel real stoopid! especially since stacy just schooled your ass!
less hot dog, and show some cock!!!
I never before had any desire to visit Vegas until you. Thanks. I think.
When you have a dick as huge as Jake's I don't think you can help but be obsessed with all things phallic. Just imagine the blood flow to that thing when it's hard. How the heck does he even walk?
We went to ride the rides at the Stratosphere, but we only rode "Insanity" because (a) I got motion-sickness and (b) all the other rides were closed because it was windy.
And now I really want a hot dog.
So, who paid for this trip? Hopefully you had some savings, though it probably was mommy and daddy that made it happen
Mystery meat and 15 inch wieners...you know what they say "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" unitl now.
This post has been removed by the author.
Prime rib is Mystery meat?????
so, how did erin do in the WSOP?
Slots-a-fun must have really a shitty security detail.
I took a picture in a casino once time and two huge goons appeared out of nowhere and confiscated my camera.
And I wasn't shoving things in my pants, either.
I love the shiny red lamé hearts on your banana hammock! They kick you out of the pool when you wear a snazzy suit, but they love you (as do we all) when you're showing off the package.
Did you get an erection when the hotdog touched your weenie?
what a weiner!
hum... all i have to say is..
hot dogs... on the floor, on the plate... i never want them! =P
You're wearing long pants in Las Vegas in July? Are you insane?
also , isnt it supposed to be cool as a cucumber, which means to be calm. instead of calm as cucumbers. which would mean..to be cool? i dont know im confused.
jake, I just wanted to say Hello. I've always enjoyed your Blog, you always seem to make me laugh.
Ha-ha! The funniest set of piccies :-)
Your yellow mustard tongue is disgusting....blech.
It's always so exciting to see what you are going to do next-LOL!!! Quit teasing with all of those huge hot dog shots-ha!
I look forward to your next post...I once went to Vegas and let's just say I didn't have as much fun as you did-maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
To the poster who wanted to know who paid for wsop, it was probably maxim that made it happen for both erin and jake.
-i
YOu're a joy to watch. I love your antics. Lol.
What a train wreck. So disgusting yet so mesmerizing. Wrong but compelling. I need more. Bring it on. Till then, Boob Sweat
OMG that is COMEDY Dude! A bunch of pictures are worth thousands of words. My fiance likes to poke his thumb out of his pants when you're not expecting it.
funny pics..'specially since we know your weiner is much thicker than that!!
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